There is no ‘I’ (Part 2)

I went out this morning to buy my cigarettes and a solitary bottle of beer. At the end of the street was a young chap standing, waiting for a lift, no doubt. I was thirty or forty yards from him and when he saw me he stepped backwards towards the wall… I was on the other side of the road, but he gave me the extra breathing space anyway… So, I go to the shop and get my things and walk back to my street, and the chap is still there… He must have been there for at least ten minutes presenting a breathing hazard – I ask you – is standing on the street, breathing freely, strictly either brief exercise or essential travel or getting necessary supplies… Was the scratchcard I bought essential? If I had won, there would have been another unnecessary chance of the virus spreading… the shop assistant wears gloves, but the gloves could be crawling with virus – her last transaction definitely involved a likely customer.

Paranoia aside, it does all seem a bit ridiculous at times…

I wonder how Sweden is doing… They didn’t have much of a lock down there, I believe… I wonder how they have done…

I do think that there should be extra justifications for going out… The man in the room above mine is not well – he is mentally ill and he has been stamping on his floor… If I use the living room I am liable to be nagged by another psychiatric patient who has very exacting standards for everyone but himself, and then there’s the toad who only comes out of his room to sneer and make pointed comments and sugary cups of tea… I think people should be allowed out for a simple ‘breather’, whether they are exercising or not – several breathers in fact.

I have noticed something which others may have seen too… a lot of people are suddenly either carrying an empty carrier bag (passport to breather), or are walking in a more demonstrably ‘exercisey way’ – marching, swinging arms more, wearing more sporty clothes just so they won’t be mistaken for someone who is not genuinely taking exercise – you know, the ones who are walking around unworthily – the traitors.

Well, here we are, stuck in again, but at least we are doing our bit, putting up with the irritating things the people we usually get away from every day with a large amount of stiff upper lip or biting of lip and forbearance… not something I am good at…

I wish I was doing something that could help the situation… I can’t seem to suspend my cynicism though… or cancel out my ‘it isn’t really happening if it’s not happening to me’ deludedness…

It is a lovely day out there again… If only everyone COULD go and have a day at the beach – or at least, half a day in the car, an hour trying to park, and then an hour setting up camp and jockeying for position, buying ice creams and paddling and then getting back on the road with sand everywhere…

I always said to myself that I would get my room sorted out when I got the chance… it looks like I am going to have to actually do it… I will do it in stages, I think, I need to delay the gratification – what would I do if I got my room tidy and got the garden sorted and then faced more lock down without some nice chores to look forward to?

by ‘The Silver Machine

Image by Michael Paul

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